Monday, January 27, 2014

That's what happens when you try me with a sorry ass receiver like Crabtree.

That's the result you gonna get:
Oh to have speed like Quadsworth.  The shit that I would talk...
Let's get into it, why don't we.  It's Monday, 13 days out from Pantani go-day.  And early season fitness is, as always, a strange bird.  Typically, whoever is standing atop the box at races like Snotcycle and the recent CAMBC RTF TT Circumnavigation (an acronym worthy of some Plaid) is likely to be at the front on Pantani day.  
Photo: FOOF champ!
My prediction: at the front and extremely well-dressed.
Later in the year?  It's hard to say.  But be advised, dudes are fast in the winter these days.  

The rest of us, not so much.  Proper training rides are always a little hit or miss when the mercury dips below 10, and some things are just hard to replicate on a trainer.  But the stalwarts are out there anyway.  And it's those dudes - the ones getting after it in a proper man vs. nature format - that really tend to shine when it's go time.  
Unless we start early and leave them in the porta-john.  Not cool.  

Also proper early season activity: bike fitting.  In particular, dial in your q-factor.  In the snow.  Good times.  

What else?  What else?
Well, still no word from The Manimal about the whereabouts of our precious KOM chapeau.  In fact, the whereabouts of The Manimal himself are largely unknown.  Last time I saw him, he was puking his very soul out in the tent next to me at the Giro, and though he was in the care of the finest Giro-nurse a man could hope for, perhaps he didn't actually pull through.  If that's the case, I hope the KOM chapeau was top-of-the-list when they read off his palmares at his funeral, and that she made it into his casket.

I'll sure miss riding with him, which for me technically meant watching him start and then sometimes finishing in time to see him up on the podium.  Mostly just watching him start though.

But!  We won't have to miss the Chapeau.  There's a newer, better prize to be awarded to the KOM this year, and it's Giro pink for style points.

Chapeau, fit for a king.
Fox Mountain KOM: 1 point
Blackwell's hollow KOM: 1 point
Mission Home KOM: 1 point
Simmon's Gap KOM: 1 point
Brokenback KOM: 1 point

No points for second place.
So you might not have big mountain fitness just yet, but if you're dashing enough just to get over mission home in first place, you might very well limp yourself to the finish in a shamble of snot and drool and don yourself some pink victory.

Speaking of big mountain, speculations have been rolling in, around, and back and forth regarding the condition of The Lollipop and what it will be like on race day.  Rest assured: it's a complete mess right now.  And with a hard freeze settling in tonight and lasting through, oh I don't know, next Tuesday or so, chances of it really being rideable are pretty minimal.
Of course, that doesn't mean we're not going up it.

Fatbike: check.
Crampons: Check.
Fitness:  ...

That pink hat just keeps looking better.

Up, up, up.


  1. You say it's a mess, but then again all I see is someone tackling Brokenback on a road bike, thought that climb was supposed to be scary? UVa cycling clearly using Pantani as early season prep.

  2. I have to say, I love the panache. The bravado. The very gusto. Reminds me of someone...a little bald Italian guy with big ears and an oversized heart.

  3. I am flattered by your confidence in me. I'll be there fo sho!