Monday, September 29, 2014

The Iron Qwads

Sometime in the late 90's, the story goes that Mike Doughty of Soul Coughing was taking a terrible lot of drugs, and he was dating some fantastic young lady named Janine.  And like most musicians inspired by love and drugs, he wrote a song about her.

But when he sat down to record the song for the next Soul Coughing album, he couldn't quite make it come out right - it just didn't quite convey how he felt about her.  So, in a fit of bizarre, drug-induced brilliance, he had Janine leave the little apartment they shared in Manhattan, run down to the pay phone in the street in the middle of the night, call him at the apartment, and sing "The Lemon Tree."  He missed the call, but the answering machine caught it, and in a show of real creative mastery of his craft, he took the answering machine to the studio and recorded what we now know as the album version of "Janine" over top of Janine singing "The Lemon Tree" on his answering machine to capture how she made him feel about her.

Lovely.  Creative.  Brilliant.

And so, similarly I hope, rather than photoshopping Qwadsworth onto a Georgia Tech Cheerleader -which I've been there and done and I think exhausted the creative brilliance right the hell out of - and in an effort to convey how I really feel about him, I'll photoshop his face onto a picture of the Iron Sheik giving Hacksaw Jim Duggan the camel clutch, and I hope it'll just stand for itself.

Consider this Paranormal Costume idea #396,415, and from there, thematically at the very least, onward we'll go.

Up, up, up.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Something wicked this way comes...

I don't have a hastily-photoshopped image of Qwadsworth as a cheerleader riding the Georgia Bulldog yet.  But I should.  What can I say; it's been a long season, and with all of these 100 miler wins that Qwadsworth has racked up, I'm pretty worn out.  

I'll try to get that up and running in the next few months though.  

I also don't have a race report, strava file, or heart rate data to share from the 18 Hours on the Farm from last weekend.  Again, tired.  So tired.  

What I do have, however, is a firm date for The Paranormal.  

The Paranormal will be November 1, 2014.  

Before you start bitching about mountain bike racing in the month of November, or the fact that Halloween is actually in October, or how exhausted you are from winning all of these races on a singlespeed, consider this:

Halloween actually falls on a Friday this year, Oct 31 2014.  So The Paranormal is Saturday, November 1st, the day after Halloween.  Set aside, for a moment, all the benefits that racing for 6 hours can deliver when fueled by candy corn and mothballs the you scored the night before, ignore the ideal set up of free cheap Saturday night beer to compliment the load of rich Pumpkin porter you had on Friday, and consider this fact alone:
You can pretty much put on your slutty pirate costume on Thursday when you get home from work, sauce it up a little, and roll it straight into Sunday without ever having to change.  


Music accompaniment, shit talking, keg selections, predictions, and bikereg link coming soon.  
Giddyup, up, up.  

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Fool's Gold

Good luck down there, brothers and sisters.

And a little carb loading idea if that's your gig.

Fool's Gold Sandwich
Serves 8-10 people, or one Elvis.
1 foot-long loaf sourdough bread
2 tablespoons butter, melted
16 ounces creamy peanut butter
16 ounces strawberry jam (the original used Dickinson's blueberry preserves)
1 pound bacon
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Coat the loaf in butter. Place on a baking sheet and bake until golden brown, about 15 minutes
While the bread is in the oven, fry the bacon until crispy. Drain on paper towels.
Slice the loaf in half lengthwise and hollow out the inside. Fill with an entire jar of peanut butter and an entire jar of jam. Top with bacon and put the top of the loaf back on. Slice to serve.

And by "slice to serve" I know that you know that I mean, put the whole thing in your piehole and chew.

Up, up, up.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Qwadsworth wins SM100...

Qwadsworth wins SM100.
Sets course record.
Blows away the competition. 
Sets up a showdown of epic proportions in sweet Georgia in 2 weeks.  
And I made a picture.  

cool as ice.
Business as usual.

Up, up, up.