Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Post Paranormal Inactivity

Someone told me the other day that the 5 Saturdays, 5 Sundays, and 5 Mondays that we're having in October this year only happens once every 823 years.  I'm pretty sure that's not true, but for the time being I'll allow greater minds that have had more sleep to debate the nature of that topic.  But I will affirm that, whatever the rarity of a 5 weekend October, we've had some pretty amazing weekends to celebrate the proverbial Chinese "Moneybag" year. 
And by Moneybag, I mean, our local moneymaker K-rod, who threw down 9 laps at the paranormal and presumably  won himself a big wad of cash. 
Ah yes, another Paranormal came and went on Saturday.  I can affirm that a modest amount of sleep deprivation only enhances the confusion of racing singletrack at night, even when it's in your own back yard.  Several photos here that I felt really captured the spirit of the paranormal:

pure joy, Cowboy. 

dude's trail got a little banged up

the manchild owned the holeshot.  madness followed. 
 Although my prediction of C-Ham soloing to victory by a full lap doomed him to late race cramps and 5th overall, I did pick two things right in my annual pre-race nostradamusness:
1)  There was, in fact, a faster men's duo team lurking in the peripherique.  Pro Roadie, Ben King and his little bro Jake, showed up with their genetically superior fast twitchiness (not to mention a penchant for fast, dirt turns that I hadn't anticipated) and dominated.  
2)  Fastest lap?  Ben King in 30:20.  So for another year, no one goes around the loop in under 30 minutes.  OK then. 

riding with the King.

Paraphoto credits here to Mr. Panzaboonen who will be forced to use a bike instead of a camera next year.  And, on an important side note, now that I understand the real depth of Mr. Panzaboonen's photo-artistic talent, I would like to gauge the collective interest of you, blog reader, to commission a really provocative photo series of The Dude my brother, calendar poses and what not, set against an autumnal background.  Think the annual sorority issue of Playboy.  Artistic, tasteful, yet fully nude.  Consider it. 
Full Paranormal results?  Forthcoming.  Check back.  Or do what the Big Man in Asheville does to make the wrong world right and turn off your computer and go ride.  It's a 5 weekend October, Grover, and the seasonal Pisgah trails are open for business.

what I couldn't rumble with calves like these. 

What happens next?  Fall languishes a little, and the highly contagious pre-winter letdown sets in.  People race "Cross", whatever that is.  Afterwork sunshine goes South on vacation.  Blah.  But, with all of the indoor time I'm currently afforded, I'm scoping out a big route for a gigantic, trans-county, Sunday epic set for sometime in January when the leaves are down, the bugs are gone, the air is crisp, hunting season has ended, and the anarchy of fence-jumping point to point disorganized Winter racing can return to Virginia and remind us that life and riding do not end when Daylight savings does. 

Until then, get out and get after it while the gettin's still good. 

Bennet Gap, Pisgah. 
Think Skyward. 
Think up, up, up.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Paranormal Hyperactivity

Round these parts, round this time of year, things start to get a little weird.  Dudes dress like women, women dress like witches, superheroes and superheroines don their capes, and boys grow into men.  And everybody races.  Generally speaking, it's the most fun and/or the most pain you can tolerate on a Saturday evening just before Halloween, your pick. 

The Paranormal - likely the most unruly, dangerous start in the VORS series.  Light swordplay encouraged. 

The Paranormal.  This Saturday.  Register.  Pre-rides tonight and tomorrow night, under a waning moon that should be nigh-gone enough by Saturday eve that it'll be darker outside than the inside of a cow.  Pack some knee warmers and charge your shiny stuff.  The competition is heating up.  My picks? 

Solo Men - Heretofore still unregistered, dark horse C-Ham, fresh off a brilliant 8 hour performance in Tennessee.  Skinny enough for sympathy and on home turf.  Unbeatable as long as he doesn't beat himself. 

Solo Women - Laura Hamm threw down 8 monster laps last year, every one of them while wearing a green tutu.  If she shows up again, ladies, I'd recommend you mark her.

Duo? - Registrations continue to pour in there, and it's a little difficult to determine who is actually paired with whom, but it's safe to say there are a lot of people on that list already who aren't slow.  Lindbloom.  Gonyo.  Our manchild whit zirkle.  Up and comer Chris Keeling paired with veteran endurance Jedi, Pete Hufnagel?  Or the wagonwheeled pairing of Quadsworth and Catlett?  Maybe none of the above.  Rumors of a faster team lurking in the dark are unsquelchable, and until the final word from Rocktown arrives to BRCR headquarters via smoke signal from the West, betting will not commence.  But this will be a race to watch. 

On a personal note, you won't see me on the front.  At least not for long.  Getting away from the normal levels of paranormal falltime hyperactivity, I've been pushing the limits of paranormal inactivity.  So we'll have to wait and see what kind of result that spits out on Sat eve. 

What I have been doing a bit more of, though?

bicep curls
So yeah, I've got my game face on tight. 

I'm getting heartburn, Tony, do something terrible. 
See you, Saturday. 

Up, up, up. 

Sunday, October 9, 2011

A new beginning. And another. And another.

I know, I've been MIA for a while.  Until Kyle's most recent update, which made my entire goddamn day, it was beginning to look like this blog was defunct - another dead mall in a sea of foreclosed web space.  Well, it's not.  Lots to talk about here.  I'm not really sure where to start this one, so I guess I'll just dive in here with what matters most in the world:  Danny O and his rising stardom. 

From Danny O via Text yesterday:
Grand Junction is cold and snowy.  I won the short track. 
Decidely not Grand Junction.  But appropriately blurry. 
Danny Flow in the snow.  I've seen this phenomenon quite a few times myself, and I'm not surprised that our East Coast kid stuck it too a bunch of Colorado talent when things got slippery and loopy. Atta boy.  But here's the rub, Danny Flow.  You better keep working.  No matter how fast you get, there's always going to be some kid behind you, working harding, getting faster, training while you're sleeping, creeping up on you when you think you've got it made.  And she might be on a trike with tassles. 

The fastest C-Ham yet. 

Speaking of fast C-hams, our big man took his formerly substantial girth down south to race The Ocho with our other big man, Nolanpalooza.  Nolan decided to just take it easy and support Chris in his effort to get on the podium and make sure he eats a square meal.

dude's bike got a little banged up though.
And, C-ham did, indeed, get to lift his immaciated body onto the bottom rung of the podium.  Not sure if you've noticed, but C-ham is the top BFR stud these days.  And he's got the scrapes on his schnozz to prove it. 

Congrats.  But get a happy meal.  Supersize it. 
Again, though, the song remains the same.  Keep training.  Take a Kid Mountain Biking Day at Preddy Creek was a smash.  Zoom in, C-ham.  See the hard looks.  They're coming for you. 

And, while we're on the subject and since it's the thing that excites me the most in the entire universe right now, BFR has three new groms. 

Theadore Michael Royer, Son of Summer of Toph 2.0 (SOSOT2.0) was born on the last day of Summer, September 22nd, sometime before noon.  His application to use the title "Ted Shred" is still pending with the powers that be. 
Not to be bullied at the finish line, Shan and I decided to see if we could bridge the gap, and yes, indeed, later that day at 11 PM team Tevendale crossed the line with two of our own.  Rowan Michael Tevendale and Avery Rooke Tevendale. 

I know what you're thinking.  Technically, this looks like a win for SOSOT2.0 with an 11 hour lead.  But put on the spectrum of an entire lifetime (or three for that matter) I'm calling this a group finish with no substantial gaps and giving all in the bunch "same time" status, even though Shreddy crossed the line first.  Not a bad last day of summer.  The excitement that I feel in all of this is completely off the charts. 

Don't panic yet.  There's still time for you to win a race or two before these groms are grown enough to kick your aging, wrinkled ass.  Of note, the Cville edition of the Blue Ridge Cyclocross Cup will be at the IX this Tuesday at 5:30 PM.  Get there.  Represent.  Enjoy the time you have left to not be looking over your shoulder for singlespeeding tots creeping up behind you. 

And, quite naturally, The Paranormal.  After a summer of building berms and connecting forgotten singletrack smidges, the course is better than ever.  6.1 miles.  Is Jeremy Senn's 2008 recordbreaking sub 30 minute lap possible?  I submit that it is not.  Prove me wrong.  Prove me right.  But at the very least, come out and defend home turf. 

Lastly, and on a somber note, many of us knew a radical boy, kid, and man named Ben Orr.  Albemarle HS cross country team captain.  JMU grad.  A hell of a runner, and most certainly a pinner on the bike.  Ben, sadly, left this world back in 2006.  But in my recent stay at the new, very bitchin' Martha Jefferson Hospital up on Pantops, it was nice to see that Ben's got a wing there in his honor.  Quite appropriately, it's looking out at Carters mtn.  Shine on, Ben. 

Up, up, up. 

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

A bromantic look into Dave and Kyle

If you read this blog then you know a few things.
1: Dave
2: Dave knows how to tell a story
3: Dave knows no idle
4: Dave had twins (again, knows no idle!)

Well...not as literally as Dave would lead you to believe. Which brings me to point #5
5: Dave is a liar

@Dave - Do you really expect me to believe there were two babies in there?!!!

My life: Some call it beautiful, some call it a train wreck. To be honest, I haven't thought for long enough to analyze it. Sometimes I evaluate my life based on the reactions and opinions of my friends. And I sure as hell ain't gonna hang around anyone who's got anything bad to say. Can you blame me? Which naturally draws me to Dave.

Thanks to Dave I've gone from living like this...

To living like this!

Dave and I have a history, a story that I'm sure Dave himself could put into better words. Dave's kindness doesn't show through just in special situations, you can see it when he's taking a bad line around you in an off camber switchback.. Even when I thought I had my shit together he was willing to risk, what could have been a Douthat trip ending injury, just to get that cabin unlocked.

Twins...not always an easy thing to handle, as Dave says himself. Despite motionless and paralyzing nesting that could never have prepared Dave for the cute, drooling, pants shitting, food fighting, life changes that were looming over his head...ok ok....so maybe not much is going to change for Dave but, he will have to get used to two babies doing those things rather then just himself. My main concern is selfish. Where do I fit into all of this?!!! Where do WE fit into all of this?!!! Come on!

Those kids better be ready to throw a few 'bows on the trails. Being spawn of Dave, I think it's only fair not to ease up. I hope they know what they're in for! Actually...I hope they don't know what they're in for! Maybe I can sneak this photo into a few of the family photo collages at the Tevendale house just to sub-conciously leave mixed messages about some looming muddy MTB showdown with Uncle Kyle (who is generally known for digging around the kitchen looking for something to eat and not blinking an eye at jars of baby food).

Nesting, nursery building and not sleeping. I'm going to miss Dave! Am I going to miss Dave?! I'm my experience, life changes have only brought us closer. And I do mean closer, like sleeping in a tent together for 4 days with a dog and the Maglia Rosa of 2011.

Has Dave's life changed? Yes. Has my life changed? Totally! Has anything changed on the "Dave and Kyle" front? No way! Kids or no kids, I'll always feel like I can roll up to the farm unannounced, eat all the gluten free food I can find, drink the dregs of the bottle of bourbon in the pantry, borrow a bike, throw some ball with Bender, nap on the couch, then leave my pond soaked chamois on the living room floor. Now...times that by two because, I'm bring my girl with me!

Sometime in late July:

(Kyle knocks on Dave's door unannounced)

Dave: What up, man?!

Kyle: Just out on a ride.

blah blah blah.... skiping over small talk

Dave: Where've you been? Haven't seen you in a while.

Kyle: I met a girl...

Dave: Oh yeah?! That's awesome.

Kyle: It's totally awesome!

telling Dave the story of us meeting and falling in love...

Kyle: ...and now she's in Europe for an undetermined amount of time.

Dave: When are you going!!!

Kyle: Uhhh...funny you ask because I just finished passport renewal paperwork and started looking at plane tickets.

Dave: I feel good about all of this! When are you going?!

Kyle: The end of August.

Dave immediately hands me an Italian/English dictionary and an Italy guide book.

The party just keeps getting better and better. Keep 'em comin' Dave!