Monday, June 29, 2015

Excuses for bailing on Tuesday Night Worlds in July

Excuses for bailing on Tuesday Night Worlds in July

Check all that apply:

Nagging Torry Ridge injury
95 degrees of hot on the asphalt at 6 pm
Two July Full Moons
Women's World Cup Schedule
Too Lazy to take the 32's off my road bike
Aiming to peak in February
Peaking in July
Already peaked
Bud Light Lime
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
The Fringe Loop at Blue Ridge School
Lack of Fitness
One dimensional bike fitness
Too many cars
Not enough cars
Will Leet's drivetrain scares the shit out of me
Toddler tantrums
Creek swimming
Things that make you go hmmmm...
Lack of goals
Blackberry pickin'
8 speed drivetrain revival
Searching for my spirit animal
Mechums hill
Training for SM100
Not training for SM100
Disc brakes have no business on road bikes
Road bikes don't brake fast enough
Recommitting to Singlespeeding
Recommititng to gravel road riding
Recommitting to not being committed to anything
Committee Meetings
Failure to yield at stop signs
Scared of Will Leet's calves
Spicy Brown Mustard
Poor Hydration
Over Hydrated
LT too low
STD too high
Ran out of pickles
Failure of the dual party political system
Summer Reading
Fruit Tarts
Ice Cream
Social justice
Social injustice
Social Media
Not getting Mark's emails
Jersey too small
Legs too big
Legs too small
Watching The Tour
Not watching the fucking Tour this year
Wheels not true enough to race on
Wheels are too nice to race on
Work too busy
Working on chipping and putting
Gotta cut the grass
Coaching Lacrosse
Coaching Baseball
Coaching your mom
Crashed last week
Crashed last month
Crashed last year
Crashing tomorrow
Angry motorists
Bad road manners
Can't draft
Won't draft
Won't take a pull
Can't take a pull
Dropped on the ride there
Bike stolen
Fear that bike will be stolen
Fear of Will Leet's skin suit
Eric Fletcher won't talk to me
It's like he's a different person when he puts his helmet on
A ride too fast
B ride too fast
C ride too fast
A ride too long
C ride not long enough
Avoiding wheel overlaps
Not enough wheel overlapping
Racing Bryan Park instead
Not into racing
Not into road
Not into bikes anymore
other ________________________

Up, up, up.

Friday, June 26, 2015


"Love is about all the changes you make and not just three small words."  - Frank Turner

Equality and inclusion when it comes to LOVE: now legal in all 50 states.
For shits and giggles, here's the link to said revelation on Fox News:
Because Fox News is having a bit of a down week, and they could use all the traffic they can get, I imagine.

Mind you, we're still talking about an abomination in the eyes of the Lord according to most modern, outdated religious texts, but fuck it, we will take what we can get for now, and it's been a good week, so let's not get greedy.

As a bike blogger, the link that I'm trying to make between the federal legalization of same sex marriage and riding is pretty obscure. Ditto that for the legalization of Marijuana.  Ditto that for universal health care.  Even if politics is not a pendulum, at the very least, these things come and go, and it's hard to feel too settled in with all of this newfound inclusiveness and tolerance and taking care of each other for fear that, soon enough, the rug will be yanked out from under us, like 26er tires or 8 speed drivetrains.  Nothing's ever quite good enough - at least not for long - and that's fine.

But listen to that Frank Turner bit a few times on this fine Friday, go for a big, hard ride in the rain with your best friends, drink a beer or two, and consider the nature of inclusion for a moment.  That ride you just went on, riding a $5,000 mountain bike, with your mid-to-upper class heterosexual white friends, is pretty representative of our sport which, try as it may, is still way, way short on the kind of diversity and inclusiveness that I think most of us would profess to subscribe to.
Camping out at the Giro D'Ville with all the best people I know.  Except for the black ones, gay ones, and people without $200 to blow on recreation.  Wait, What? 

Ask yourself a tough question, and prepare to not be super comfortable with the honest answer, because you might not like what you have to say: Why don't you ride bikes with someone who is gay?

A vote for equality is one thing.  Bravo supreme court.  Thanks for not completely fucking that up.  But an email that says, hey, come ride with us, is where the change actually happens.

The world is different now.
But are we?

Up, up, up.

Monday, June 15, 2015


Stomach cramps, double flat with only one spare tube, stormed on, nearly struck by lightning, bridge was out, snake infested river portage, drink driving hill people on blind curves, feral dogs, and of course there was no fucking toilet paper.
First ride I've felt truly alive on in about 10 years.  

Up, up, up.

Friday, June 5, 2015

Wadsworths (Plural)

So, I stumbled upon this.
An imposter Wadsworth?
As you can imagine, upon seeing this website, I was like "who the fuck is this clown?"  

Seriously.  Some punk bitch claiming to be a Wadsworth, and he's - gasp - a runner? Oh HELL no.  There can only be one.  It's like Highlander, but with enormous legs.
Then, upon closer inspection, I discovered, wait, this clown can ride.  He finished Dirty Kanza this year (in a total mudfest) in 14:24.  By my rationale then, he's no punk bitch.  

Then, to compound my confusion, I saw how our Wadsworth got hosed down by his own gears at Mohican, and holy shit, it's like I don't even know who I am anymore.  The world no longer makes sense.  

So, fuck it...I say let's let 'em fight it out to see who is the real Wad. 

So I sent this dude an email pretty much proposing just that.  I was nice about it.  Respectful.  I may have made up the part about Gordon calling him a complete no-talent buttfuck, but I stand behind that decision as I want to drive this to a speedy conclusion.  I just gotta know.  

May the best Wad win.

As a devoted member of the media, I will keep you, the masses, apprised of Nathan's response.  

Up, up, up.