Monday, August 29, 2016

WHOEVER STOLE MCCARDELL'S PUMP

I WILL FIND YOU.

As you can see below, I'm already way ahead of you.
Might as well turn yourself in now.

David Tevendale:
Hey did you find pump?
Mark McCardell:
Lolol
No. I went to the field to see if it was there
David Tevendale:
Mysterious.
Do you have any suspects?
Gotta be someone you'd never expect.
I'd personally like to go ahead and blindly accuse Will Leet.
Mark McCardell:
Bill said he has seen this happen so many times with his boys. Some teen picks up an item and throw it in the hatchback and the parents are unaware. 
David Tevendale:
SCANLON.
Totally.
Trying to throw you off his trail.
That nogood sonofabitch.
Hes a great suspect.
He's got it all...motive, access, ability. I like where you're going with this.
Have you confronted him yet?  I think you should go in super hot.
Mark McCardell:
I should publicly shame him on Facebooks. 😂
David Tevendale:
Also, NED ORMSBY.  I'm not buying that whole niceguy act.
No one can possibly be that good.  I'm calling bs.
Also, also, CHARLIE ORMSBY.  accomplice or sole perpetrator?  
Did Ned cover it up to save his son?
Will he take the fall?
No way.  We will put the heat on him and he'll sing.
Facebook heat that is.
Faceheat.
Mark McCardell:
Faceheat. Trademark it now. 
David Tevendale:
I just made that up.
It's the new waterboarding.  Ever since Obama ruined waterboarding.
OBAMA.  It was the POTUS!
This thing goes all the way to the top.
Mark McCardell:
Ok i almost pissed myself with the new waterboarding
David Tevendale:
Answer me this!  What reason did Obama have NOT to steal your pump?  
Amiright?
SCOTT RAMSEY.
ALL THE COMPTONS.
SHAWN TEVENDALE.
Mark McCardell:
That dude...shifty character if I ever saw one. 
David Tevendale:
I'd classify Shawn as a moderately strong suspect at this point.
Proximity, etc is easy.  But we might struggle to establish a motive.
But know this: no one is above the law.
I will leave no stone unturned.
I, for one, am sick and tired of the low caliber of people we have riding around here.
Mark McCardell:
        Steven Segal is above the law
David Tevendale:
Dude.
Why the fuck would Steven Segal steal your pump?
Don't be an idiot.
I need you locked in here.
       Not just randomly accusing people.

3 comments:

  1. I personally think that Steven Seagal took it. I mean, "that's what people are saying". Random slanderous rumors have to start somewhere. I say that this one starts.right.here.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You wanna get me? There's only two things stoppin' you: fear and common sense.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Proud to have been named a suspect.

    ReplyDelete