Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Don't mess with Pantani's Mom

A brief, non-exclusive list of dead guys' moms that I'd advise not messing with:
Jimmy Hoffa
And now, add Marco Pantani to that list.

That's right, Tour De France.  If you name Marco on your newfound list of 44 dopers from the 1998 Tour which Marco won fair and square (and likely doped to the very lid), Marco's mom will fucking cut you.

Also worth nothing, within the linkage to that article, you can find yourself one of these:

It doesn't really look gravel worthy, and I don't think I see a triple crankset on there, but given the name I guess I must be mistaken.  Note to self: add Gravel Bike with Aero-Seatpost Mast to the gigantic list of things I'll need to buy to someday win the Pantani Ride.
Dig it or don't, but here it is: http://www.pantanibikes.it

Interesting sidenote, I dug as hard as I could in Google Images for about 3 minutes to find a damning picture of Pantani's mom, and I came up with nothing.  That's really saying something these days, and I'll have to assume if I want a controversial picture of Pantani's mom, I'll need to photoshop something on my own (maybe a mashup of Metro, Sheera, and a centaur).  But I did find this:

Which makes me extremely happy, and it also reminds me there's still a title to be claimed.  The clock might currently read 147 days, 17 hours, and 45 minutes, but it is, technically, still ticking.

Also noteworthy in that image search, I found the current holder of the socks him...err, herself.
Probably not Marco Pantani's mom.  
Which should serve as a lesson to all of us: limit your Google Image Searches to your personal devices, and do so alone.

I'm getting a little choked up here.  If you want the socks, which I know you do, get out there and do something terrible to yourself.

Up, up, up.

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