Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Pantani 2013 recap and a title yet to be claimed

Remember that time Dee Dee crushed the Pantani Ride and I claimed her data as my own?

I am proud to call that lady a teammate (and steal her fame.)

Yeah, so The Pantani Ride happened.  Big start - maybe 60 or so riders rolled out down Allen Rd under sunny skies, dodging latecomers and dead possum on our way west.  Good things happened out there.  I'm not really sure what.  I made it into the lead group, which was fun for a while, but then I blacked out and came to around the base of Brokenback, suddenly dehydrated, crawl-riding with Saul and Panzaboonen.  Panzaboonen cramped, popped, and I feared for his safety but I pressed on behind Saul, who was slightly disoriented and wondering aloud if we'd just come down this road.  Moments later, Saul was gone too, and I clung to my granny gear, over the summit, and on to the finish. 

But that's more than enough about me.  It's a little difficult to be certain what happened at the front on Sunday given that the most official timing mechanisms were word of mouth, the angle of the sun, and Strava.  I believe as many as half of the sixty or so riders that started got lost, which is about average for The Pantani ride.  But from where I was sitting, which was admittedly very, very far back, it looked like Wadsworth got the win, Wittwer got the KOM, and David Reid once again brought home the dad-booze, all despite some navigational challenges that are par for the course, especially this course, but again I don't know.  It's actually possible that Frank Yeager took all three of those spots, so maybe I'll just trail off here and assess that the guys at the front were going remarkably fast, uphill, with gearing that I'd have trouble pedaling around the block. 
OK, if you really want it, an eyewitness account from the front of the race is here.

First place lady?  I'm not certain.  Might have been Dee Dee, in which case, I'll claim her prize just like I claimed her performance data.  And I'll have that in beer please, whatever it was. 

As for the masses, plenty of stories of mud, fun, and pain.  It's such a big, unique loop on varied terrain that everyone experiences the ride in different ways, but only some of them involve creek-drinking and days of lingering diarrhea.  Fun fact:  If you misspell diarrhea badly enough, Firefox auto-correct will recommend replacing it with the word "warhead."  Good times. 

Plenty of pictures floating around out there. I believe it was the largest Pantani ride so far.  So thanks for coming out and doing your part to making cycling look even more masochistic to your friends and family who simply don't understand why you insist on doing this sort of thing to yourself.

And yet, we're still missing a champion.  So far, I don't think the singlespeed title has been claimed, and with it remains an unclaimed bounty worthy of a pirate.

I say so far with considerable purpose.  Just because no one finished on Sunday doesn't mean that the clock isn't still ticking.  Indeed, showing up at about 10AM sometime next weekend, easing around the course, stopping for a glass of wine at Stone Mountain, a sandwich in Dyke, and even some cookies at the Mission Home Bakery, then cruising in half-sauced by about dusk would, technically, net you a time of something like 6 days and 15 hours, and a heavily asterisked win in the questionably penned singlespeed history books.  I'm just saying, the title is still up for grabs.  Think of the pink socks as a bounty, although in fine pirata form, I believe Metro may have pocketed the goods and run for the River City, so you might need to hunt him down to claim your prize after you claim the title. 

In short, despite a pretty tense race at the front on Sunday, the race is still on.  Get your game face back from the cleaners and saddle up, buttercup.  Those socks aren't winning themselves. 

Up, up, up. 


  1. What Brokenback with 1 fuggin gear?
    Ain't nobody got time for that!



    Oh lord Jesus yo legs arrr on fire!

    Jesus, jesus jesus it keeps cummin' on ya.

    Seems that thanks to my crafty dogs there is buried treasure yet to be had for the crafty single speeder. Find a good map, Strava or it didn't happen and you may find the booty.