Monday, December 27, 2010

Happy Holidays from Places Afar

Blog sensation, friend of the program, and member-at-large, The Summer of Toph has checked in from Colorado this holiday season, where it appears to still be summer.
I might be wrong about it being summer, but at the very least something WEIRD is afoot. And very aerodynamic.

Moreover, he appears to have happened upon a pivot mach 4 just propped up outside of Jax Fish House, unlocked. Presumably, its owner is inside having some oysters for lunch. Responsible bike snob that he is, Toph may be taking it into his possession to ensure its saftey and eventual return.
Please, if you are missing this bike, call the proper authorities and ABSOLUTELY DO NOT approach the wiry, aerodynamic good citizen who is groping it.

Let's bring this all back East and inside for a moment. Just yesterday, the weatherfella' was screaming and jabbering about snowpocalypse 2010, running for cover, hide in the holes kids, blah, blah, blah. Today, well, it is a little cold. And I'm even in New Hampshire, having sought out what was supposed to be the worst of the worst in the name of family dinners and perhaps a shred or two down Mt Snow. But outside of a little snow-lightning and freakish hurricane force winds, the storm has underperformed. 8 inches of snow here, and less than 2 in Earallysville I've been told. 50 degree temps on Friday and through the weekend. In summary, let's rally.

A tentative plan, made 500 miles from headquarters.
1. A little New Years Eve rally. Nothing too long, but filthy and sticky both sound like adjectives I'd like to be involved with. Then onto the meat of the matter, New Years Eve. To follow...
2. Sleep it off, try not to cramp up while sitting at the breakfast table, crank up the recovery tunes and haul those New Years Resolutions up something dirty, steep, and tall on NYD? I don't know, Shawn is the man with the plan, I'm just looking for a van. So hopefully he'll chime in here with the proper authority.

From the mailbag, I've got accusations galore. Let's dig in here slowly so I can make one moderately weak justification at a time.

Accusation number 1) "Dude, decent blog, but you could stand to fix the typo at the top of the page. You have have some truly awesome people? What does that even mean?"
-A fair question, but misdirected. What do I look like, an admin of some sort? I'm the content guy. You're reading this, presumably, because you like the words, thoughts, and pictures of Kev29er about to puke from his bike. Or maybe you're just extremely bored. Either way is fine, but I just work here.

Accusation number 2) "You didn't actually hit 500 hours and I've got photographic evidence to prove it. Also, it appears you might owe C-ham $5 for the cheap feel."
First and foremost, C-ham gives out cheap feels for free. He loves it. Just because I'm the one that got caught on film doesn't mean I owe him cash. The embarrassingly low price (again, free) for which he allows another man to latch onto his rear end is his issue, not mine. But your main point is sort of valid. I did get a pull up the entire length of Markwood after my rear cable snapped and the best gear I could offer was big-big. It was 10 minutes at most, and it meant nothing. I don't even love him. To compensate, I am now attempting to eat an entire apple pie. And I'll rally New Years Eve to set the record straight. So I should be all square by NYD.

Accusation number 3) "Jogging with your wife (who is taking it easy on you) won't get you around Shenandoah in under 8 hours. Put the puddin' pop down." *note that this message came in the form of a calendar reminder set with hourly recurrence, every hour on the hour, from now until September 4th. *
Shoooot. You've got me on all points here. I do enjoy puddin' pops, and I do savor a jog every now and then with my loving wife who refrains from shamelessly dropping me on the steep parts. Normally, I pride myself on being able to take constructive criticism, but this is one I need to allow some time to sink in. Please check back later. Like, maybe around 2 PM on September 4th when I am coming round the mtn and you're stuck back on Mount Hank with a tummy ache.
That being said, your reminder is accepted and on my calendar from now until then.
Thanks for the tip.

Happy Holidays, sports fans. If you got something shifty and springy from Santa, don't forget to get it dirty. The elves are always making more.

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