Pantani Lurks, 2/10/19 at 10 AM

Il Pantani will go live, hot, fast, and heavy...this Sunday 2/10 at 10 AM.  2019.

Shortly after, it slows waaay down.

The year of the Pig is upon us.

Whatever this weather pattern we are currently experiencing actually is - human driven ecosystem collapse maybe, or just a natural part of the end of days  - it will come to a decisive end by Sunday.  Pretty good chance we will be rolling west on frozen gravel when we hit Wesley Chapel.



And really, would you have it any other way?  Pantani at 74 degrees just feels, I don't know, inauthentic.  Like if Pantani went up Ventoux at 650 watts, got to the top, and it wasn't windy or exposed or terrible, and then some asshole from Texas tried to gift him the stage.

There are no gifts, people.  Weather included.

Parking, start line, and the finest porta-shovel known to man will all be at the Paranormal field, which is off of Markwood Rd right across from the Claymont subdivision.  There are no facilities there, no water, just a shovel and some TP and a semi-imposing lack of dignity.  If you need an actual shitter, like a real genuine emergency, I want you to know that the top drawer of Shawn's bedroom dresser is always, ALWAYS, open to you, and I really mean that.  Bombs away.

10 AM, the proverbial gun will go off, so don't be late.  After that, it's hard to say.  Being that Pantani is a non-event sort of event, there's no actual course markings, road closures, or any of that.  It's just a group ride, except for those of you who it's not, and chances are pretty good you know who you are.

Here's the route.  Again, interpret this as a suggestion for glory, not instructions to hand your team car driver.  I hope that you know that I hope that you know what I mean, and we'll have to leave it at that for now.

A semi-description of how the ride typically unfolds can be found here.
Additional misinformation can be found here.
In fact, there are gobs of information mashed into various corners of the internet, some of it true.  Very little of it is actually helpful, and none of it is current save this: Sunday, 2/10/19 at 10 AM. All you need to know.

If you still want to know what it's like, don't ask people like this.  

B-Slow, for example, sent me a text yesterday confirming his intent to ride 35 mm tires.  No idea what bike he will actually be strapping those things onto, but it doesn't matter to people like you and me. He's on a different playing field, basically playing a different sport.  Whatever he does, don't do it.

Qwadsworth, too, has confirmed his attendance, for the first time in, shit, a decade?  I'm not sure.  But assuming he shows up with something attached to a lauf fork, I don't recommend you emulate his behavior either.

Dave Flatten has won every Pantani that I would classify as having taken place in HORRID conditions.  What does that mean for Sunday?  Mightn't Jeremiah Bishop show up and pay Flatten back for that cheeky finish sprint 4 years ago?  Then there is Petrylak, Serton, Chris Michaels, others...greatness, left to right.  It's a hard thing to predict who will make it back first.  Logan Jones Wilkins, if Strava doesn't lie, has been crushing hundreds of miles of gravel per week.  But does he even know who Marco Pantani is?

These and other questions, to be answered Sunday, not sooner.

The rest of us, what can we even do?

I, for one, will be preparing my outfit.
 

See it in person on Sunday.

Up, up, up.