What is the Pantani Ride? What, indeed. Wait, I've already done this. Read all about it here:
Clear as mud, then. Wait, except for the fact that the date is Saturday, Feb 13th, and we will go live as a hoofshot horse at 11 AM. As your attorney, I advise you to arrive early, get on the trainer, and self-medicate on your own interval. This thing goes out hot.
What bike should you ride? What, indeed. To answer this question - and I've answered it many a time mind you - I might quote a younger, stronger, wiser-assed Gordon Wadsworth back when he was on a peyote-induced vision quest for greatness:
|We're in the spirit world, asshole, they can't see us.|
|If Buschi has to walk this, I'm going to need a harness|
Road Conditions: So, as of today, it's buttery smooth and clear, top to bottom, front to back. OK, well, the back might have a little crust on the fringes and what not, but who doesn't. It's Wyatt Mountain after all, and anything better than post-holing through thigh deep snow back there counts as clean this time of year. But, it bares repeating - that's TODAY. It's a different world back there, and some rain in town could be a Donner party devouring blizzard in the wilds of Greene County. So dress warm and watch the sky.
|Weather Forecast provided by Jim Cantani|
Forecast: Well, it's a long way from here to Pantani day, but The Weather Channel now offers a no-bullshit, 100% accurate 15 day forecast, and here's that for Greene County. https://weather.com/weather/tenday/l/USVA0239:1:US
From where I sit, that says snow showers on Tuesday the 9th and then clear and sunny after that (but cold.) I'd estimate that's about normal. But again, you know that they don't actually know, and they know that, so they give you the lies 15 days in advance because screw you, you don't believe them anyway. I'll prove it. Watch the sky.
Winner Winner Chicken Dinner: The talent that is joining us this year will likely outperform the combined level of talent we've had if you combined all of the past 10 years into one mashed up substance, put it in your pipe, and smoked it. You'd get higher this year. JB is coming, it's been whispered on the obscure edges of big blue. Chaz Michaels, winner of yesteryear, is a maybe. How 'bout Bryan Lewis, past KOM winner who was once outsprinted for the win in a devious move by Qwadsworth himself? Or newly BRC-stickered pro, Keck Baker? Ben King, according to Strava, has been riding the ever-loving shit out of his trainer indoors as his leg heals - so will he show up and hand out beers or show up and hand out beatings? Our own Will Leet? And many others...If you put all of those guys into a cage match in their current forms, and spun the thing at 140 rpm, who would emerge victorious? My pick: John Petrylak. He's my guy, and he's Foof after all. You just can't be 2nd as many times as he's been 2nd and not eventually come up aces. Plenty of wrong turns, feral pets, and empty bottles out there to dismantle any of the arguably superior competition enough for Petrylak to get over the line first.
That's about all I have for you at this point. Remember, that sense of panic you're feeling when you're considering that you haven't actually climbed anything more than 200 feet in the last 4 months is normal, useful, and a vital part of the survival instinct that is naturally supposed to kick in when you're faced with something terrible.
Keep looking for that right hander onto brokenback mountain rd, and up, up, up.