Hey Ryder, Fuck You.

Sometime shortly after the turn of the century, I was learning how to mountain bike, and someone gave me a copy of Chainsmoke 2.  Chainsmoke 2 was one of those early mountain bike films, before Freeriding really took off and began to dominate the sport from a marketable visual perspective, and it mostly focused on professional racers, but it was a little different than the run-of-the-mill downhill bike porn because it actually had some great footage of the XC race scene in the early 2000's.  I was psyched about that.  And maybe 10 minutes in (I know how long because I used to play the video while I was donning my Gary Fisher riding ensemble, getting ready to go ride) Ryder Hesjedal would grab a holeshot and ride up some insanely steep section of a race course out West in his big ring, all skinny, power, and glory, and disappear over the other side of the hill.  One word would come out of my mouth: Badass.  And then I'd go ride.  In my head, I could ride like that.

Might as well steal this one from Youtube at this point.  It's all stolen anyway.

Much coverage in the news this week (like most weeks) and some pretty bad news for professional road cycling, but this time the culprit is one of our own.  I guess not, it turns out.

Hey
Ryder,
Fuck 
You.

Honestly, that one hurts me a little.  There's not much I can say about it that hasn't already been said in the mainstream media that's way more timely and better written than this rag, and the damage is already done and all that.  But damn.

Still, I'm just a fan, and despite my fantasies to the contrary 12 years ago, I've never had that kind of power.  But plenty of other guys did - or might have - guys I know and respect and still see on the local goods sometimes.  And it's those guys that really ended up holding the bag for Ryder's greed.

Erin Bishop put this photo up on big blue yesterday.  It's just sad.  Jeremiah and JHK, all the clean riders, taking a back seat in an up-and-coming sport to cheaters.  Shortly after this, Hesjedal got a pro road racing contract, departed for Europe, and made a whole life for himself on the basis of his "talent" as a mountain biker.    That's a whole lot of money, fame, a house in Europe, the adoration of his country, Sportsman of the Year in Canada, etc, etc.

Ouch.





Look, I don't really care that another pro roadie got popped for drugs.  If that surprises or dissapoints any fan of cycling at this point in the game, it's probably worth admitting that it's going to get worse before it gets better.  And hopefully some notion of clemency and forgiveness can happen on a large-scale, global level that will allow that sport to move forward before it completely goddamn implodes.

But this sport isn't that sport.  So don't give us that bullshit, Ryder, about "everyone was doing it so I had to cheat too blah, blah, blah..."  You were a mountain biker.  It was a pretty clean sport (I hope, God, I hope) save for a few assholes like you who cheated to get to the top.  In my head, that's way, way different than leveling the playing field in the pro road peloton where you pretty much had to juice just to stay in line.  You cheated because you wanted an advantage, and you thought you'd never be caught.

Maybe the real drag of this, though, is that there's no punishment.  Ryder cheated, now nothing happens because of some randomly selected eight-year statute of limitations on the matter.  Ryder gets to keep racing, even though his whole career is founded on the same artificial legs and stolen money that righteously sacked other riders. He, as they say, "can't give back the legs, won't give back the money."

And really, I guess maybe he shouldn't.  That's dirty cash.  I'm not sure JB would take it anyway (though I do hope JB would spit on him.)  But it gives me pause, and I wonder what would make us - the fans, fellow racers, sponsors, all of us - feel better about this.  Maybe if Ryder self-served a two year ban on his own volition, though he might as well retire at that point.  But that won't happen, and it doesn't matter.

Indeed, the only real consequence is that we all know now.  Sure, this blog might be tiny, and my readership (that's you, Dad) probably doesn't identify with this quite as strongly as I do.  But, even if it's all we've got, I guess it's still our role as a mountain bike community to call this one out for what it is and not forget.

Hey Ryder, Fuck You.

If nothing else, maybe the sale of those awful POC shades will take a little hit, and thank God for that.

You can take this picture down if you have to, Blogger, but you know what ugly is now.

To the guys that raced clean, dreamed the big dream, and had to watch Ryder sprint away time and time again, I'm really sorry that I looked up to him.

Up, up, and onward.

Short and sweet this week, brought to you by your friends at Pinterest.

You know what to do.

Up, up, up.

Paranormal Results

This data might be a little raw, but the preliminary 2013 Paranormal results are below.

Paranormal 6 Hours Mountain Bike Race
Presented by Blue Ridge Cyclery
Results by: Bad to the Bone Timing
www.badtothebone.biz
Timed with MyLaps Bib tag systems
e-mail: francesca@badtothebone.biz

=========================================================================
***** Official Paranormal Results by LAP time*****
=========================================================================


Place No. Name Laps Dist Nettime S Age Team
===== ==== =================== ==== ===== ======= = === =========================
1 36 Pat Geoff Noton Kee 10 65 6:05:50 1: 6.50 32:53 32:53 2: 13.00 33:52 1:06:44
3: 19.50 33:20 1:40:03 4: 26.00 35:21 2:15:24
5: 32.50 33:43 2:49:06 6: 39.00 36:39 3:25:45
7: 45.50 38:17 4:04:02 8: 52.00 40:47 4:44:48
9: 58.50 39:21 5:24:09 10: 65.00 41:41 6:05:50 M Old but not out
2 253 Alex Kurland 10 65 6:18:19 1: 6.50 32:19 32:19 2: 13.00 33:42 1:06:00
3: 19.50 35:50 1:41:50 4: 26.00 36:36 2:18:25
5: 32.50 36:50 2:55:15 6: 39.00 39:47 3:35:01
7: 45.50 39:51 4:14:51 8: 52.00 42:25 4:57:16
9: 58.50 41:32 5:38:48 10: 65.00 39:32 6:18:19 M 29 Bike factory
3 37 Jeff Hackett 10 65 6:24:11 1: 6.50 35:04 35:04 2: 13.00 34:53 1:09:56
3: 19.50 33:46 1:43:41 4: 26.00 33:17 2:16:58
5: 32.50 39:39 2:56:37 6: 39.00 35:27 3:32:04
7: 45.50 44:04 4:16:07 8: 52.00 38:45 4:54:52
9: 58.50 47:27 5:42:19 10: 65.00 41:52 6:24:11 M 20 foofb
4 23 John Petrylak 10 65 6:25:19 1: 6.50 31:44 31:44 2: 13.00 33:52 1:05:36
3: 19.50 36:03 1:41:39 4: 26.00 36:24 2:18:02
5: 32.50 40:46 2:58:48 6: 39.00 41:19 3:40:06
7: 45.50 41:34 4:21:40 8: 52.00 40:57 5:02:36
9: 58.50 39:58 5:42:34 10: 65.00 42:46 6:25:19 M 33 Bike factory
5 215 Tim Joe House Hoski 10 65 6:26:37 1: 6.50 38:45 38:45 2: 13.00 39:01 1:17:46
3: 19.50 37:00 1:54:45 4: 26.00 36:19 2:31:04
5: 32.50 36:05 3:07:08 6: 39.00 41:09 3:48:17
7: 45.50 38:07 4:26:23 8: 52.00 42:48 5:09:11
9: 58.50 37:22 5:46:32 10: 65.00 40:06 6:26:37 M 20 Cvill hash house mashers
6 241 Bruce Joe Wickham P 10 65 6:31:58 1: 6.50 34:35 34:35 2: 13.00 36:05 1:10:39
3: 19.50 35:03 1:45:42 4: 26.00 38:21 2:24:03
5: 32.50 38:58 3:03:01 6: 39.00 41:38 3:44:39
7: 45.50 39:55 4:24:33 8: 52.00 43:46 5:08:19
9: 58.50 36:26 5:44:44 10: 65.00 47:14 6:31:58 bacon n eggs
7 89 Bradsimona Hawk Vin 9 59 6:10:48 1: 6.50 39:35 39:35 2: 13.00 36:59 1:16:34
3: 19.50 39:05 1:55:38 4: 26.00 35:15 2:30:53
5: 32.50 47:07 3:18:00 6: 39.00 40:34 3:58:33
7: 45.50 46:32 4:45:05 8: 52.00 46:14 5:31:18
9: 58.50 39:30 6:10:48 M xxl sledgeehammer and TBL
8 56 John Noah Kronis Fl 9 59 6:26:28 1: 6.50 40:12 40:12 2: 13.00 38:16 1:18:28
3: 19.50 37:06 1:55:33 4: 26.00 42:09 2:37:41
5: 32.50 41:32 3:19:12 6: 39.00 49:42 4:08:54
7: 45.50 44:59 4:53:52 8: 52.00 48:38 5:42:30
9: 58.50 43:59 6:26:28 M 20 veloworks spokes
9 265 Chris Wins Hoy 9 59 6:33:40 1: 6.50 39:40 39:40 2: 13.00 39:27 1:19:07
3: 19.50 42:34 2:01:40 4: 26.00 40:57 2:42:37
5: 32.50 47:31 3:30:08 6: 39.00 42:37 4:12:44
7: 45.50 48:21 5:01:05 8: 52.00 41:18 5:42:22
9: 58.50 51:19 6:33:40 M 40 BRC/OM
10 3 Chris Mary Dobroth 8 52 5:42:36 1: 6.50 32:45 32:45 2: 13.00 35:25 1:08:10
3: 19.50 54:55 2:03:05 4: 26.00 35:47 2:38:51
5: 32.50 38:37 3:17:28 6: 39.00 1:03:40 4:21:07
7: 45.50 39:14 5:00:21 8: 52.00 42:16 5:42:36 M 30 super velo works
11 424 Rob Sam Abnderson 8 52 5:46:10 1: 6.50 47:36 47:36 2: 13.00 35:02 1:22:38
3: 19.50 44:16 2:06:54 4: 26.00 40:31 2:47:24
5: 32.50 48:42 3:36:06 6: 39.00 41:53 4:17:58
7: 45.50 49:02 5:07:00 8: 52.00 39:11 5:46:10
9: 58.50 -1:48:19 -6:02:10 M 48 Plum grove cyclery
12 422 Chris Cunnigham 8 52 5:49:02 1: 6.50 38:57 38:57 2: 13.00 38:53 1:17:49
3: 19.50 41:31 1:59:20 4: 26.00 41:34 2:40:53
5: 32.50 44:46 3:25:39 6: 39.00 48:48 4:14:26
7: 45.50 46:09 5:00:35 8: 52.00 48:28 5:49:02 M 36 Blue ridge cyclery
13 11 David Pike 8 52 6:03:41 1: 6.50 1:10:36 1:10:36 2: 13.00 37:39 1:48:14
3: 19.50 34:40 2:22:54 4: 26.00 41:41 3:04:34
5: 32.50 42:33 3:47:07 6: 39.00 45:59 4:33:05
7: 45.50 41:41 5:14:45 8: 52.00 48:56 6:03:41 M 32 Brends super awesome raci
14 49 Carroll Hea Thumel 8 52 6:07:05 1: 6.50 44:04 44:04 2: 13.00 44:48 1:28:51
3: 19.50 38:09 2:06:59 4: 26.00 46:50 2:53:49
5: 32.50 43:36 3:37:24 6: 39.00 53:14 4:30:38
7: 45.50 42:51 5:13:29 8: 52.00 53:37 6:07:05 M 30 LRC #1
15 12 Anne Pike 8 52 6:15:15 1: 6.50 41:48 41:48 2: 13.00 42:32 1:24:20
3: 19.50 44:57 2:09:17 4: 26.00 45:12 2:54:28
5: 32.50 49:35 3:44:02 6: 39.00 49:39 4:33:40
7: 45.50 51:01 5:24:40 8: 52.00 50:35 6:15:15 F 35
16 430 Stev Bryce Cook Low 7 46 4:45:12 1: 6.50 36:00 36:00 2: 13.00 35:45 1:11:45
3: 19.50 36:39 1:48:24 4: 26.00 38:01 2:26:24
5: 32.50 44:17 3:10:41 6: 39.00 52:57 4:03:37
7: 45.50 41:36 4:45:12 M gumby n pokie
17 429 Thomas Barber 7 46 5:00:00 1: 6.50 41:25 41:25 2: 13.00 36:32 1:17:57
3: 19.50 37:51 1:55:48 4: 26.00 40:44 2:36:32
5: 32.50 48:21 3:24:53 6: 39.00 47:18 4:12:11
7: 45.50 47:49 5:00:00 M 41
18 419 Mark Bill McLaren S 7 46 5:03:37 1: 6.50 42:51 42:51 2: 13.00 40:48 1:23:39
3: 19.50 41:17 2:04:56 4: 26.00 39:49 2:44:44
5: 32.50 43:09 3:27:53 6: 39.00 49:58 4:17:50
7: 45.50 45:47 5:03:37 M 30 2 live crew
19 48 Dave Shann Tevendal 7 46 5:16:18 1: 6.50 34:21 34:21 2: 13.00 44:23 1:18:44
3: 19.50 36:18 1:55:01 4: 26.00 54:03 2:49:04
5: 32.50 37:32 3:26:36 6: 39.00 59:36 4:26:11
7: 45.50 50:07 5:16:18 M 30 Goldilocks and 3 bears
20 68 Dave Hardiskey 7 46 5:42:15 1: 6.50 39:06 39:06 2: 13.00 41:53 1:20:59
3: 19.50 41:31 2:02:29 4: 26.00 49:26 2:51:55
5: 32.50 48:41 3:40:36 6: 39.00 1:10:57 4:51:32
7: 45.50 50:43 5:42:15 M 40 Design Physics
21 281 Beverly Richardson 7 46 5:44:15 1: 6.50 40:29 40:29 2: 13.00 45:14 1:25:42
3: 19.50 45:45 2:11:27 4: 26.00 49:21 3:00:47
5: 32.50 49:25 3:50:12 6: 39.00 54:51 4:45:02
7: 45.50 59:14 5:44:15 F 38 CRC BRC
22 4 Chris Rob Berry 7 46 5:58:36 1: 6.50 40:13 40:13 2: 13.00 49:25 1:29:37
3: 19.50 43:46 2:13:23 4: 26.00 57:15 3:10:37
5: 32.50 50:26 4:01:03 6: 39.00 57:33 4:58:36
7: 45.50 1:00:00 5:58:36 M 8 East Coaster jr team
23 276 Tom Kathryn Neuman 7 46 5:59:48 1: 6.50 50:15 50:15 2: 13.00 45:05 1:35:20
3: 19.50 44:45 2:20:04 4: 26.00 49:08 3:09:11
5: 32.50 59:21 4:08:31 6: 39.00 54:57 5:03:28
7: 45.50 56:21 5:59:48 M velo works Sorts etc
24 40 David Wood 7 46 6:12:02 1: 6.50 38:49 38:49 2: 13.00 40:40 1:19:28
3: 19.50 47:16 2:06:44 4: 26.00 56:22 3:03:06
5: 32.50 1:11:39 4:14:45 6: 39.00 1:03:58 5:18:42
7: 45.50 53:20 6:12:02 M 43
25 79 Andy Nick Coplnd Sh 7 46 6:14:05 1: 6.50 39:56 39:56 2: 13.00 38:25 1:18:20
3: 19.50 43:07 2:01:26 4: 26.00 39:56 2:41:22
5: 32.50 53:05 3:34:27 6: 39.00 48:20 4:22:46
7: 45.50 1:51:20 6:14:05 M 30 Bere and sandwich pace
26 74 Scott Ramsey Morris 7 46 6:23:32 1: 6.50 37:25 37:25 2: 13.00 44:33 1:21:58
3: 19.50 38:17 2:00:15 4: 26.00 50:23 2:50:37
5: 32.50 57:26 3:48:02 6: 39.00 1:48:51 5:36:53
7: 45.50 46:39 6:23:32 M 40 brc rich scott
27 5 Matt Lornz Panzeral 6 39 4:13:21 1: 6.50 37:10 37:10 2: 13.00 40:14 1:17:23
3: 19.50 39:22 1:56:45 4: 26.00 40:08 2:36:52
5: 32.50 47:12 3:24:04 6: 39.00 49:17 4:13:21 M 30 Harry Italian roadies
28 272 Michael Walling 6 39 4:19:04 1: 6.50 34:42 34:42 2: 13.00 38:29 1:13:10
3: 19.50 37:03 1:50:13 4: 26.00 37:49 2:28:02
5: 32.50 47:33 3:15:34 6: 39.00 1:03:30 4:19:04 M 34
29 51 Steve Lesli Ryan Ke 6 39 4:33:16 1: 6.50 39:37 39:37 2: 13.00 46:19 1:25:55
3: 19.50 42:29 2:08:24 4: 26.00 46:38 2:55:01
5: 32.50 46:35 3:41:36 6: 39.00 51:40 4:33:16 M 30 Team helluva pair
30 649 Bill Sean Olson Hay 6 39 4:40:24 1: 6.50 43:20 43:20 2: 13.00 39:41 1:23:00
3: 19.50 46:27 2:09:27 4: 26.00 43:52 2:53:19
5: 32.50 56:25 3:49:43 6: 39.00 50:41 4:40:24 M 30 aafes
31 420 David John Carleton 6 39 4:41:29 1: 6.50 45:12 45:12 2: 13.00 41:51 1:27:02
3: 19.50 50:43 2:17:45 4: 26.00 42:07 2:59:51
5: 32.50 57:03 3:56:54 6: 39.00 44:36 4:41:29 M rpr reactive P.B BRC
32 7 Cam Todd Mader 6 39 4:45:07 1: 6.50 46:00 46:00 2: 13.00 38:17 1:24:17
3: 19.50 52:12 2:16:28 4: 26.00 41:46 2:58:14
5: 32.50 1:01:38 3:59:52 6: 39.00 45:15 4:45:07 M 40 Bike lane bozos
33 81 Julie Beth Guy Fult 6 39 4:55:20 1: 6.50 43:17 43:17 2: 13.00 46:26 1:29:42
3: 19.50 46:42 2:16:24 4: 26.00 50:37 3:07:00
5: 32.50 51:59 3:58:59 6: 39.00 56:22 4:55:20 F 30 tbl Scud Fry girls
34 19 Chris Ryan Faunec M 6 39 5:21:20 1: 6.50 48:57 48:57 2: 13.00 56:09 1:45:06
3: 19.50 54:42 2:39:47 4: 26.00 47:05 3:26:52
5: 32.50 1:16:06 4:42:57 6: 39.00 38:23 5:21:20 M angulated slack
35 285 Brandon Lee Vincent 6 39 5:22:36 1: 6.50 47:21 47:21 2: 13.00 47:16 1:34:36
3: 19.50 48:03 2:22:39 4: 26.00 1:02:09 3:24:48
5: 32.50 54:29 4:19:16 6: 39.00 1:03:20 5:22:36 M 20 scud fries
36 62 Donald Elv Peppard 6 39 5:32:45 1: 6.50 45:39 45:39 2: 13.00 54:48 1:40:26
3: 19.50 48:54 2:29:20 4: 26.00 1:02:31 3:31:50
5: 32.50 49:58 4:21:47 6: 39.00 1:10:58 5:32:45 40
37 447 Dean Matt Kat Ferry 6 39 5:45:39 1: 6.50 1:37:01 1:37:01 2: 13.00 36:55 2:13:55
3: 19.50 54:59 3:08:54 4: 26.00 46:14 3:55:08
5: 32.50 1:06:34 5:01:41 6: 39.00 43:58 5:45:39 M 20 W&M
38 70 Jenny Whedbee 6 39 5:46:56 1: 6.50 42:09 42:09 2: 13.00 51:06 1:33:15
3: 19.50 50:40 2:23:54 4: 26.00 1:22:12 3:46:06
5: 32.50 58:17 4:44:23 6: 39.00 1:02:34 5:46:56 F 48 Blue Ridge Cyclery
39 275 Roy Pruett 6 39 5:47:01 1: 6.50 39:11 39:11 2: 13.00 47:04 1:26:15
3: 19.50 47:27 2:13:41 4: 26.00 58:34 3:12:15
5: 32.50 1:33:06 4:45:20 6: 39.00 1:01:41 5:47:01 M 23
40 55 Matthew Kesecker 5 33 3:44:04 1: 6.50 38:06 38:06 2: 13.00 41:54 1:19:59
3: 19.50 42:22 2:02:20 4: 26.00 48:37 2:50:57
5: 32.50 53:08 3:44:04 M 35 Cambo
41 58 Joe White 5 33 3:44:06 1: 6.50 38:49 38:49 2: 13.00 43:13 1:22:02
3: 19.50 44:45 2:06:46 4: 26.00 46:47 2:53:33
5: 32.50 50:33 3:44:06 M 46 CAMBO
42 71 Matthew Ralph 5 33 4:20:01 1: 6.50 39:16 39:16 2: 13.00 48:24 1:27:39
3: 19.50 48:12 2:15:50 4: 26.00 54:49 3:10:39
5: 32.50 1:09:22 4:20:01 M 32 CAMBO
43 1 Michael Schneider 5 33 4:23:17 1: 6.50 51:58 51:58 2: 13.00 47:35 1:39:32
3: 19.50 51:03 2:30:34 4: 26.00 1:00:28 3:31:02
5: 32.50 52:15 4:23:17 M 48
44 418 Gork Duvall 5 33 4:27:38 1: 6.50 45:34 45:34 2: 13.00 56:02 1:41:36
3: 19.50 1:07:48 2:49:24 4: 26.00 0:06 2:49:29
5: 32.50 1:38:09 4:27:38 M 44 also gork
45 448 Andrew Collins 5 33 4:30:41 1: 6.50 41:59 41:59 2: 13.00 48:42 1:30:40
3: 19.50 49:16 2:19:56 4: 26.00 1:07:52 3:27:47
5: 32.50 1:02:54 4:30:41 M 16 chelsea fc
46 421 Barry Nobles 5 33 4:37:22 1: 6.50 50:28 50:28 2: 13.00 48:03 1:38:31
3: 19.50 51:25 2:29:56 4: 26.00 1:01:03 3:30:58
5: 32.50 1:06:24 4:37:22 M 47 team halfway
47 2 Jeff Steiner 5 33 4:43:32 1: 6.50 45:47 45:47 2: 13.00 48:18 1:34:04
3: 19.50 53:35 2:27:38 4: 26.00 1:12:25 3:40:03
5: 32.50 1:03:29 4:43:32 M 52 Jeffy Lube
48 83 Ardenanne Spert Mad 5 33 4:44:27 1: 6.50 48:01 48:01 2: 13.00 55:21 1:43:21
3: 19.50 52:40 2:36:00 4: 26.00 1:04:45 3:40:44
5: 32.50 1:03:44 4:44:27 F 30 TBL scud fries girls
49 278 Colin Cahill 5 33 5:02:17 1: 6.50 46:09 46:09 2: 13.00 43:02 1:29:11
3: 19.50 43:39 2:12:49 4: 26.00 53:28 3:06:17
5: 32.50 1:56:01 5:02:17 M 16 Blue ridge school
50 9 John Geoff Gonyo 5 33 5:22:48 1: 6.50 38:40 38:40 2: 13.00 1:10:55 1:49:35
3: 19.50 54:38 2:44:13 4: 26.00 1:40:54 4:25:06
5: 32.50 57:43 5:22:48 M 40 G duo
10/19/2013 11:22PM
Page 2
Paranormal 6 Hours Mountain Bike Race
Presented by Blue Ridge Cyclery
Results by: Bad to the Bone Timing
www.badtothebone.biz
Timed with MyLaps Bib tag systems
e-mail: francesca@badtothebone.biz

=========================================================================
***** Official Paranormal Results by LAP time*****
=========================================================================


Place No. Name Laps Dist Nettime S Age Team
===== ==== =================== ==== ===== ======= = === =========================
51 30 Josh Wall 5 33 5:25:13 1: 6.50 1:19:22 1:19:22 2: 13.00 47:20 2:06:41
3: 19.50 56:23 3:03:03 4: 26.00 1:11:28 4:14:31
5: 32.50 1:10:42 5:25:13 M 42
52 450 Coleman Brenna 5 33 5:59:26 1: 6.50 51:42 51:42 2: 13.00 1:00:38 1:52:19
3: 19.50 2:13:25 4:05:44 4: 26.00 38:37 4:44:20
5: 32.50 1:15:06 5:59:26 M 25
53 427 Kyle Ryan Little 5 33 6:03:46 1: 6.50 1:03:22 1:03:22 2: 13.00 54:24 1:57:46
3: 19.50 1:16:33 3:14:18 4: 26.00 56:43 4:11:01
5: 32.50 1:52:45 6:03:46 M 10 Glow for it
54 17 Barb Jon Ciambotti 4 26 2:50:32 1: 6.50 48:55 48:55 2: 13.00 35:33 1:24:27
3: 19.50 50:00 2:14:27 4: 26.00 36:06 2:50:32 M 30 batman n robin
55 213 Ted Smith 4 26 3:18:00 1: 6.50 40:16 40:16 2: 13.00 48:55 1:29:10
3: 19.50 48:51 2:18:01 4: 26.00 59:59 3:18:00 M 38 Cambo
56 80 Christina D Higgins 4 26 3:23:29 1: 6.50 48:15 48:15 2: 13.00 46:52 1:35:06
3: 19.50 48:32 2:23:38 4: 26.00 59:52 3:23:29 F 40 TBL Scud fries 2
57 59 Jason Hiser 4 26 3:32:38 1: 6.50 54:10 54:10 2: 13.00 50:07 1:44:17
3: 19.50 52:11 2:36:28 4: 26.00 56:11 3:32:38 M 38
58 274 Bryce Vathy Read Ho 4 26 4:06:45 1: 6.50 44:29 44:29 2: 13.00 53:10 1:37:39
3: 19.50 52:02 2:29:40 4: 26.00 1:37:05 4:06:45 M 30
59 254 Kathy Kurland 4 26 5:05:09 1: 6.50 52:56 52:56 2: 13.00 1:13:42 2:06:37
3: 19.50 1:35:20 3:41:57 4: 26.00 1:23:13 5:05:09 F 30
60 239 Tony Brown 4 26 5:06:57 1: 6.50 43:14 43:14 2: 13.00 46:56 1:30:09
3: 19.50 2:17:10 3:47:18 4: 26.00 1:19:39 5:06:57 M blue ridge school
61 449 Bryan Lewis 4 26 5:48:02 1: 6.50 1:05:34 1:05:34 2: 13.00 28:26 1:34:00
3: 19.50 3:11:26 4:45:26 4: 26.00 1:02:37 5:48:02 M 23 UVA
62 264 Johns Compon 3 20 2:20:31 1: 6.50 34:49 34:49 2: 13.00 1:08:46 1:43:34
3: 19.50 36:58 2:20:31 M 40 Compon
63 240 Dave Welty 3 20 2:59:57 1: 6.50 45:05 45:05 2: 13.00 57:07 1:42:12
3: 19.50 1:17:45 2:59:57 M 40 Blue Rdige School
64 284 Ray Haislip 3 20 3:05:03 1: 6.50 1:18:37 1:18:37 2: 13.00 58:16 2:16:53
3: 19.50 48:11 3:05:03 M 37
65 646 Quinn Greenman 3 20 3:23:27 1: 6.50 1:00:04 1:00:04 2: 13.00 51:42 1:51:45
3: 19.50 1:31:42 3:23:27 M 16 blue ridge school
66 53 Russ Kate Adams Luc 3 20 3:23:46 1: 6.50 47:26 47:26 2: 13.00 42:37 1:30:02
3: 19.50 1:53:44 3:23:46 M
67 417 Optimus Prime 3 20 4:22:54 1: 6.50 40:22 40:22 2: 13.00 46:53 1:27:14
3: 19.50 2:55:40 4:22:54 M 48
68 32 Catherine M Sherida 3 20 4:26:09 1: 6.50 1:08:28 1:08:28 2: 13.00 1:28:20 2:36:47
3: 19.50 1:49:22 4:26:09 F 52 The Bike Lane
69 72 Deborah White 3 20 4:27:02 1: 6.50 55:02 55:02 2: 13.00 1:48:00 2:43:02
3: 19.50 1:44:00 4:27:02 F 48 cambo
70 210 Eric Strickland 3 20 4:27:28 1: 6.50 55:53 55:53 2: 13.00 1:47:29 2:43:22
3: 19.50 1:44:07 4:27:28 M 52 CAMBO
71 245 Ana Teller 3 20 4:29:37 1: 6.50 1:04:20 1:04:20 2: 13.00 1:39:30 2:43:49
3: 19.50 1:45:48 4:29:37 F 33 CAMBO
72 277 Thomas Johnson 3 20 5:13:01 1: 6.50 57:57 57:57 2: 13.00 2:49:24 3:47:21
3: 19.50 1:25:40 5:13:01 M 16 Blue ridge school
73 217 Ian Critz 2 13 1:31:01 1: 6.50 46:11 46:11 2: 13.00 44:50 1:31:01 M 25 BRC MARS
74 0 Unknown Unknown 2 13 1:38:34 1: 6.50 31:36 31:36 2: 13.00 1:06:58 1:38:34 M 25
75 6 Eric Fletcher 2 13 1:39:57 1: 6.50 51:26 51:26 2: 13.00 48:32 1:39:57 M 45 Team registration
76 416 Kinan K 2 13 2:44:49 1: 6.50 1:16:57 1:16:57 2: 13.00 1:27:53 2:44:49 M 16 Blue ridge school
77 644 Jason Hess 2 13 3:47:13 1: 6.50 1:00:33 1:00:33 2: 13.00 2:46:40 3:47:13 M 16 Blue ridge school
78 645 Mason Lyon 1 7 1:00:38 1: 6.50 1:00:38 1:00:38 M 16 Blue ridge school
79 226 John Stubbs 1 7 1:02:09 1: 6.50 1:02:09 1:02:09 M 40 Blue Ridge School
80 235 Manuel Martin 1 7 1:15:22 1: 6.50 1:15:22 1:15:22 M 16 Blue Ridge School
81 229 Jose Espinoza 1 7 1:29:33 1: 6.50 1:29:33 1:29:33 M 16 bklue ridge school
82 650 Josh Toston 1 7 1:38:34 1: 6.50 1:38:34 1:38:34 M 16 Blue ridge school
83 647 John Zheng 1 7 2:16:31 1: 6.50 2:16:31 2:16:31 M 20 Blue Ridge school
84 648 Tony Way 1 7 2:26:54 1: 6.50 2:26:54 2:26:54 M 16 Blue ridge school
10/19/2013 11:22PM

Paranormal 6 Hours Mountain Bike Race
Presented by Blue Ridge Cyclery
Results by: Bad to the Bone Timing
www.badtothebone.biz
Timed with MyLaps Bib tag systems
e-mail: francesca@badtothebone.biz
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Duo-CoEd Team Results
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. 1 xxl sledgeehammer and TBL (6:10:48 6:10:48)
========================================
1 1 Bradsimona Hawk Vincencio M 6:10:48

2. 2 super velo works (5:42:36 5:42:36)
========================================
1 2 Chris Mary Dobroth M 5:42:36

3. 3 Goldilocks and 3 bears (5:16:18 5:16:18)
========================================
1 3 Dave Shann Tevendale M 5:16:18

4. 4 velo works Sorts etc (5:59:48 5:59:48)
========================================
1 4 Tom Kathryn Neuman Huber M 5:59:48

5. 5 Team helluva pair (4:33:16 4:33:16)
========================================
1 5 Steve Lesli Ryan Keck M 4:33:16

6. 6 batman n robin (2:50:32 2:50:32)
========================================
1 6 Barb Jon Ciambotti M 2:50:32



----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Duo-Male Team Results
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. 1 Old but not out (6:05:50 6:05:50)
========================================
1 1 Pat Geoff Noton Keenan M 6:05:50

2. 2 foofb (6:24:11 6:24:11)
========================================
1 2 Jeff Hackett M 6:24:11

3. 3 Cvill hash house mashers (6:26:37 6:26:37)
========================================
1 3 Tim Joe House Hoskins M 6:26:37

4. 4 bacon n eggs (6:31:58 6:31:58)
========================================
1 4 Bruce Joe Wickham Perpet 6:31:58

5. 5 veloworks spokes (6:26:28 6:26:28)
========================================
1 5 John Noah Kronis Flaxman M 6:26:28

6. 6 gumby n pokie (4:45:12 4:45:12)
========================================
1 6 Stev Bryce Cook Lowry M 4:45:12

7. 7 2 live crew (5:03:37 5:03:37)
========================================
1 7 Mark Bill McLaren Scanlo M 5:03:37

8. 8 Bere and sandwich pace (6:14:05 6:14:05)
========================================
1 8 Andy Nick Coplnd Sh M 6:14:05

9. 9 brc rich scott (6:23:32 6:23:32)
========================================
1 9 Scott Ramsey Morrisn M 6:23:32

10. 10 Harry Italian roadies (4:13:21 4:13:21)
========================================
1 10 Matt Lornz Panzeralla Bat M 4:13:21

11. 11 aafes (4:40:24 4:40:24)
========================================
1 11 Bill Sean Olson Hayes M 4:40:24

12. 12 rpr reactive P.B BRC (4:41:29 4:41:29)
========================================
1 12 David John Carleton Cox M 4:41:29

13. 13 angulated slack (5:21:20 5:21:20)
========================================
1 13 Chris Ryan Faunec Mcdonld M 5:21:20

14. 14 scud fries (5:22:36 5:22:36)
========================================
1 14 Brandon Lee Vincent Deihr M 5:22:36

15. 15 W&M (5:45:39 5:45:39)
========================================
1 15 Dean Matt Kat Ferry M 5:45:39

16. 16 Glow for it (6:03:46 6:03:46)
========================================
1 16 Kyle Ryan Little M 6:03:46



----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Duo-Female Team Results
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. 1 tbl Scud Fry girls (4:55:20 4:55:20)
========================================
1 1 Julie Beth Guy Fulton F 4:55:20

2. 2 TBL scud fries girls (4:44:27 4:44:27)
========================================
1 2 Ardenanne Spert Mader F 4:44:27

3. 3 TBL Scud fries 2 (3:23:29 3:23:29)
========================================
1 3 Christina D Higgins Reeb F 3:23:29



----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Father Son Team Results
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. 1 BRC/OM (6:33:40 6:33:40)
========================================
1 1 Chris Wins Hoy M 6:33:40

2. 2 Plum grove cyclery (5:46:10 5:46:10)
========================================
1 2 Rob Sam Abnderson M 5:46:10

3. 3 LRC #1 (6:07:05 6:07:05)
========================================
1 3 Carroll Hea Thumel M 6:07:05

4. 4 East Coaster jr team (5:58:36 5:58:36)
========================================
1 4 Chris Rob Berry M 5:58:36

5. 5 Bike lane bozos (4:45:07 4:45:07)
========================================
1 5 Cam Todd Mader M 4:45:07

6. 6 G duo (5:22:48 5:22:48)
========================================
1 6 John Geoff Gonyo M 5:22:48

7. 7 Compon (2:20:31 2:20:31)
========================================
1 7 Johns Compon M 2:20:31



----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Single Speed Team Results
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. 1 Blue ridge cyclery (5:49:02 5:49:02)
========================================
1 1 Chris Cunnigham M 5:49:02



----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Solo Female Team Results
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. 1 CRC BRC (5:44:15 5:44:15)
========================================
1 1 Beverly Richardson F 5:44:15

2. 2 Blue Ridge Cyclery (5:46:56 5:46:56)
========================================
1 2 Jenny Whedbee F 5:46:56

3. 3 The Bike Lane (4:26:09 4:26:09)
========================================
1 3 Catherine M Sheridan F 4:26:09

4. 4 cambo (4:27:02 4:27:02)
========================================
1 4 Deborah White F 4:27:02
2 ( 5) Ana Teller F 4:29:37



----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Solo Male Team Results
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. 1 Bike factory (6:18:19 6:18:19)
========================================
1 1 Alex Kurland M 6:18:19
2 ( 2) John Petrylak M 6:25:19

2. 3 Brends super awesome raci (6:03:41 6:03:41)
========================================
1 3 David Pike M 6:03:41

3. 4 Design Physics (5:42:15 5:42:15)
========================================
1 4 Dave Hardiskey M 5:42:15

4. 5 Cambo (3:44:04 3:44:04)
========================================
1 5 Matthew Kesecker M 3:44:04
2 ( 6) Joe White M 3:44:06
3 ( 7) Matthew Ralph M 4:20:01
4 ( 13) Ted Smith M 3:18:00
5 ( 18) Eric Strickland M 4:27:28

5. 8 also gork (4:27:38 4:27:38)
========================================
1 8 Gork Duvall M 4:27:38

6. 9 chelsea fc (4:30:41 4:30:41)
========================================
1 9 Andrew Collins M 4:30:41

7. 10 team halfway (4:37:22 4:37:22)
========================================
1 10 Barry Nobles M 4:37:22

8. 11 Jeffy Lube (4:43:32 4:43:32)
========================================
1 11 Jeff Steiner M 4:43:32

9. 12 Blue ridge school (5:02:17 5:02:17)
========================================
1 12 Colin Cahill M 5:02:17
2 ( 14) Tony Brown M 5:06:57
3 ( 17) Quinn Greenman M 3:23:27
4 ( 19) Thomas Johnson M 5:13:01
5 ( 22) Kinan K M 2:44:49
6 ( 23) Jason Hess M 3:47:13
7 ( 24) Mason Lyon M 1:00:38
8 ( 25) John Stubbs M 1:02:09
9 ( 26) Manuel Martin M 1:15:22
10 ( 28) Josh Toston M 1:38:34

10. 15 UVA (5:48:02 5:48:02)
========================================
1 15 Bryan Lewis M 5:48:02

11. 16 Blue Rdige School (2:59:57 2:59:57)
========================================
1 16 Dave Welty M 2:59:57

12. 20 BRC MARS (1:31:01 1:31:01)
========================================
1 20 Ian Critz M 1:31:01

13. 21 Team registration (1:39:57 1:39:57)
========================================
1 21 Eric Fletcher M 1:39:57

14. 27 bklue ridge school (1:29:33 1:29:33)
========================================
1 27 Jose Espinoza M 1:29:33

Daylight Savings, like when Spock died

Wadsworth Wins Wilkes 100.  

That's called alliteration.  It's also called a lot of hard work.  And before this one gathers too much dust:

You keep putting your life on the line to win, I'll keep recycling the same old hastily photo-shopped images.  

I'm told this win represents the nightcap to Wadsworth's frenzied, run of podiums, and the "season" is over.  Indeed, daylight savings starts on Saturday.  That's always a little sad.  It's a dark moment on Sunday night, at 5 PM, when the sun sets, and it's cold and ugly, and it feels a little bit like Spock just died.  

But, before you let the seasonal depression take hold, remember there is still fun to be had, and Spock was really only dead for about a half a movie before he was back in action:

Long Gravel Rides

winter bike lust

And don't forget we live in Virginia, where flowers sprout well into November on the right sunny slopes.  

Other than that?  There isn't much I can do for you.  I can't even give you the Paranormal results, but it's safe to say you didn't beat Kurland.

But I will trail off here with a little news gem that's sure to make you smile, step outside on a cold winter day, and point your hoops skyward.  It would seem that, in the wake of all the doping revelations of late about the turn-of-the-century peloton, Italy's favorite son is the favorite again.

http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/report-2014-giro-ditalia-route-to-honour-marco-pantani

2014.  Gonna be a good year.

Up, up, up.

Paranormal Forecast

If I might create a weather forecast for the next three days that would be conducive to shredding singletrack in a most absolute manner, I'd draw up something like this:

Which, of course, I can't do, nor can I find my own shoes before noon most days, but for the greater good it would seem the weather gods have done it anyway.

Chance of perfect dirt:  near 100%.

So there's that.
Additionally, the official pre-race communique has been unofficially emailed, pinned up, spread via word of mouth, and posted over on Big Blue, which naturally is where I get all of my news so I'll link you to that.  If I might summarize, it reads as follows:

1) Sign up
2) Show up
3) Shred responsibly
4) Scud

Also, worth noting, there are pre-rides today (Thursday) and tomorrow (whatever day comes after Thursday) starting at 6PM.  I, for one, will be donning 1500 lumens and pinning it at approximately 8 PM tonight in case you're similarly equipped, running late, and the sort of person who is into that sort of thing.  Which if you're reading this blog you probably are.

Other than that, not much to really report that hasn't already been reported faster, better, and more accurately, which by coincidence is a metaphor for how I ride these days.  So too it is with the creepy music promised.   But since we've recently been on the subjects of the undead, and The Boss, and kicking the proverbial can down the proverbial road...I suppose we can part ways until Saturday via Paranormal Costume idea # 38,921:  The Ghost of Tom Joad.


Dress appropriately non-appropriate.

Up, up, up.

Right, wrong, or indifferent...The Paranormal Predictions

I think if you're using the phrase "right, wrong, or indifferent" to start a sentence in which you're about to disclose your Paranormal costume idea, you should probably just say "screw it," try it on, admit that you feel pretty, and go with it.  They might judge you, sure.  But look where that got Miley Cyrus.

Paid.  

And besides, if it might get you on the podium, it's worth it.

Registrants keep rolling in, which reminds me I should give some thought to the lineup at the front and make some inaccurate predictions, like  I   always   do.  The tough thing about that, though, is that 75% of Paranormal registration happens on race day, sometimes more than that.  And 8 days out here in front of the event, conditions are relatively unknown.  That's why it takes real, genuine nostradamusness to do this job, of which I have none, but I do it anyway.

So here we go:

Men's Solo:
Though heretofore unregistered, I have it on good authority that Bob Anderson will ride to the race, rack up 11 laps in 5 hours or so, stop for a pop at the CAMBC tent on his way out, then ride home in time to catch the 11:00 news.  You can't beat that.  But 5 time Paranormal Champ Iron Mike Walling can, and I'm willing to bet that he will, so long as he can stick it out for the long haul.  He's been secluded in a clandestine training camp, after all, with only the finest nutrition and coaching that money can buy, fixating on his comeback.


Douthat Day2 P2 from Kevin Murray on Vimeo.
My prediction: 12 laps in 6:30, Walling takes it.

Women's Solo:  Last year, I made the mistake of picking Whedbee for the W on account of her 2011 victory, only to round the corner into the transition shortly after it got dark and see her double-fisting Ranger IPAs.  The fight has left the fighter a little bit, it would seem.  Instead, I'll put my gambling cash (of which I have absolutely none) on Bev Richardson for the top step of the ladies podium in what I anticipate will be a dogfight of a catfight.
My prediction: Bev by a whisker in a sprint finish. 9 laps.

Coed Duo:  Rumor has it Quadsworth is coming to town again, and this time he's bringing his special ladyfriend as opposed to his special special ladyfriend.  And it's hard to bet against a pairing like that.  Unless you have inside information, which I may, and you know there's a super-strong ringer to be had, which I may, and you believe Quadsworth may have already peaked, which I do, and you think your wife can stick it to him when the going gets rooty, slippery, and dark.  Which I do.  Quadsworth, you're on notice; my bride will be serving you up a big, healthy portion of your own ass come miller time.
My prediction: Team Goldilocks and the 3 Bears by a full lap.

Coed Men:  this is usually where the rubber meets the proverbial road, or in this case, dirt.  Lots of speed happens up there where this race is happening, and most of it, I don't even know what it looks like anymore.  But I'll actually cross party lines for this one, and I'll hazard a guess that Petrylak and Kurland show up to race duo, defend the pink jersey, crack 12 laps, and squeak out the fastest lap somewhere in the process.
My prediction: The elitest of BFR Elite by 5 minutes.  But the 30 minute lap barrier will not be broken.

SS:  While not actually a category, we all know it's a category.  Really, it's more than that: it's a way of life.  And when it comes to that way of life, no one can really contest Metro when the going gets dark, sleep-deprived, dirty, and intoxicated, which the going is most certain to do in a nighttime race on singlespeeds.  Prove me wrong C-ham, but I don't think you can take him.
My prediction: Metro rolls in with 7 laps and a smile sometime just before midnight.

Not that a single one of those people are actually registered yet, which might downplay their odds in Vegas by just a smidge, but it's a crapshoot anyway; and if I picked you I'm not actually doing you any favors - I have never been right.  Not once.

What I can predict, however, is that the funds we'll raise will actually matter, and while the man on the other end of the line might not be able to voice his appreciation just yet, he's whooping it up on the inside, hysterically laughing, chatting up the guy in front of him, with the wind in his hair and his ears pulled back.

In case you haven't read the latest, here you go.
http://www.scudfries.org/a-message-from-jen-rodriguez-proud-oldest-daughter-of-scott/
We're with you brother Scud.

Right, wrong, or indifferent, come out and pin a number on.

Up, up, up.

Desperation

If I might, let's run straight to the spooky music today from the get-go...



The Paranormal, Oct 19th, that's eleven amazing fall days between here and there.  Plenty of time to procure a costume, modify it so you look slutty, and take a test ride to ensure it can become adequately ensnared in your drivetrain on lap 1, thus enabling you to hit the keg early.

Take your hat off and stay a while.  


Most importantly, it's a benefit for Scud, and I think that's enough to say about that.

What else, what else, what else.  Well, O-hill happened, alongside some pretty baddass collegiate racing put on by UVA's brightest and most smiley.

Thomas Jefferson approved.

Results from the "open" non-collegiate, non-UCI sanctioned, fully radical, sparsely attended OHill meltdown 2013 are here.  I'm told it was, like most nuclear meltdowns, about a million degrees.  Outstanding.  And Scud gets a paycheck, so again, 'nuff said.

From other parts of the Commonwealth, though I don't yet have the helmet cam footage I was promised, I do have a few photos from a weekend of riding and other misanthropy at Douthat.

To close this one out, I had some dark Ani D. lined up to play us out today, but as I suspected, YouTube is smarter than I am.  So instead I suppose we'll just let the silence carry us through.  But next Saturday, you know where to be, and it'll be plenty loud.

Lock your back door, ya' idiot.


Up, up, up.