Pantani Ride 2018 - 2.11.18

Fair notice - Il Pantani 2018 will go live on SUNDAY, February 11th 2018 at 11 AM, and it's gonna do it HARD, right square in the hurty undercarriage.

Almost immediately, the boiler, untested at such intensity for a few months and not accustomed to wearing so many layers anyway, will blow, and you'll be left crestfallen and shelled, like a chubby peanut on the side of a steep dirt road.

See also: Will Leet on Brokenback 2017.  One of my favorite moments of all time.

Once you're that far gone, I can tell you from experience, there will be nothing much to do but putter along and look back at this moment in December when you heard this was going to happen, ponder the time-space continuum itself, and wonder if you could just go back 2 months, exactly, to that moment when you knew what you were in for and did nothing, would you do it differently?

Flashback.  Here we are.  12-11, 11 AM, 2 months exactly until The Pantani Ride, and look at you.  JESUS.  You need a coach.  Nutrition.  Intervals.  Instruction.  Motivation.  An enema - something.  Anything really.  Don't do this to yourself in your current state.  But we'll get to all of that soon enough.  My point here is that you need to get ready to get ready.

There's a fair chance that you - new to town, reading this hinterland of the internet that you found linked via some nefarious facebook ad - assume that this is Russian-backed fake news, and you are correct.  But also, it just might be a real thing.  See past Russian-Funded fake experiences via the smorgasbord of misinformation around these parts, and read 'em while you poop.  Ponder that it all might be a thing that really happens, somewhere, for no reason at all, and if realize you want in, then you're in.  Easy as that.

Set your watch to show up somewhere, at that time, and in the meantime, get ready to get ready.


Up, up, up?