If Sled Dog Doping was the last bastion of hope for clean sport rhetoric in the modern age, then Beauty Pageant Camel Doping is almost certainly whatever the next step is - presumably downward into a Mad Maxian abyss of lawlessness.
Two Camels enter. One Camel leaves.
It's all over.
Did you enjoy, once upon a time, watching sports on TV and wondering who is going to win? Rooting for a team? Believing in something? All things that your kids will tell their kids that "your grandparents used to do."
And that will be hilarious for them, that we, once upon a time, believed people won things without cheating.
Case in point: All around good guy and badass local, B-slow, didn't get a contract this year, 2018. Clean, hard working, role model of a dude, on the cusp of either a career in cycling or a career in engineering...and by all accounts it SHOULDA' been cycling given his talent and work ethic.
But instead, Francisco Mancebo continues to race on a pro contract.
It's our fault - the audience. Without us, no one pays for this shit, which maybe doesn't help our boy B-Slow anyway, but at the very least Mancebo wouldn't get getting paid by Canyon Bikes to race their brand, whatever it is.
Who the fuck at Canyon bikes said, presumably in a board meeting or in an email, "let's sponsor Francisco Mancebo." Did someone really do that? I'd like to leave my botox-injected, facially tortured, molested, insane camel in a dark room with that guy for about an hour, let the pieces fall where they may.
For a real journey into the depths of hopelessness that pro cycling fans and racers find themselves in today, https://www.dopeology.org/ is a hoot. Check out the incidents page...err, pages. 50 pages, in fact. A lifetime of drugs and cheating.
Good for you, Bryan Lewis. Not playing that game is probably the best career choice you'll ever make. We are proud of you, boy. (Though on your palmares, I can't find your Pantani win or your Tour De Burg win. Must update.)
The rest of us, down we go, folks.
The race to the bottom is on, and to get there first you have to ride a camel on drugs.
down down down down down...
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