What color are those shorts, exactly?

In the world of competitive bike racing, you have options:

 

1)  There is bitter, joyless bike racing - interval training in the rain with sore knees, contract squabbles, protests against governing bodies, drugs, suspensions, saddle sores, a cornucopia of banned substances, sponsor cancellations, abandonment, wheel-sucking, ass-kissing, bottle-fetching, dieting, bulimia, cheating, anger, exercise-induced depression, injuries, DNF'ing so your sponsor can't see how far back you were, infected saddle sores, stress fractures, and eventual early retirement.

  

2)  And then, there is the opposite of all that: Gordon Wadsworth, relentless smiling and good vibes, and the finest podium short-shorts money can buy.  

Bronze in the SS class at nationals

Thanks for representing all that is righteous and good in the world of going really damn fast on two wheels.  We are super proud of you. 

Up, up, up.